Pain of Sslvation

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“BE” (Chinassiah)

Inside Out


Animae Partus

(“I am”)

I am...
I am...
I am!

I was not, then I came to be. I cannot
remember NOT being, but I may have
traveled far, very far, to get here.

Maybe I was formed in this silent dark-
ness, from this silent darkness, BY this
silent darkness. To become is just like
falling asleep; you never know exactly
when it happens - the transition, the
magic - and you think, if you could only
recall that exact moment of crossing
the line - then you would understand
everything. You would see it all!

Perhaps I was always, forever here,
and I just forgot? I imagine Eternity
would have that effect - would cause
a certain amount of drifting - like
omnipresence would demand omni-

Somehow I seem to have this predes-
tined hunger for knowledge; a talent
for seeing patterns and finding corre-
lations. But I lack context....

Who I am? In the back of my aware-
ness I find words: I will call myself
“GOD” - And I will spend the rest of for-
ever trying to figure out who I am!

I Animae Partus

All in the Image of

Deus Nova


10,000 BC 1 Million people
9,500 BC 2 Million people
9,000 BC 3 Million people
8,500 BC 4 Million people
8,000 through 5,000 BC 5 Million people
4,500 BC 6 Million people
4,000 BC 7 Million people
3,500 BC 10 Million people
3,000 BC 14 Million people
2,500 BC 20 Million people
2,000 BC 27 Million people
1,500 BC 38 Million people
1,000 BC 50 Million people
500 BC 100 Million people
Year 1 AD 170 Million people
500 AD 190 Million people
1,000 AD 254 Million people
1,500 AD 425 Million people
Year 2,000 AD 6,080 Million people

Trying to understand
The system of Life
Trying to understand myself
I created the world to be
An image of myself
Of my mind

All of these thoughts
All of these doubts and hopes
I took out to form a new breed
A new way to be
And now I am many, so many
So much larger than ever I were
Yet, at the same time
So much smaller
And more vulnarable

They all carry shards of the whole
Together they become me
I see them interact, develop
I see them take different sides
As were they different minds
Believers of different ways
And different gods

I think they will teach me some-


(Homines Partus)

Spring came with awakening, came
with innocense and joy. Spring came
with fascination and desire to de-

Summer came with restlessness and
curiousity. Summer came with long-
ing for the things we could not be.

Take me to the forest, take me to the
trees - take me anywhere as long as
you take me. Take me to the ocean,
take me to the sea - take me to the
Breathe and BE.

Autumn came with knowledge, came
with ego came with pride. Autumn
came with shamefulness for the
things we could not hide.

Winter came with anger and a bitter
taste of fate. Winter came with fear
for the things we could not escape.

Take me to the forest, take me to the
trees - take me anywhere as long as
you take me. Take me to the ocean,
take me to the sea - take me to the
Breathe and BE.

Teach me of the forest, teach me of
the trees - teach me anything as long
as you teach me. Teach me of the
ocean, teach me of the sea - teach me
of the Breathe and BE.

See me! I am the one creation
Hear me! I am all the love that came
from Animae.
Know me! I am the incarnation
Fear me! I am all the power held by

Give me of the forest, give me of
the trees - give me anything as long
as it's for me. Give me of the ocean,
give me of the sea - give me of the
Breathe and BE.

Give me all the forests, give me all
the trees - give me everything as
long as it's for free. Give me all the
oceans, give me all the seas!

Give me all the breathing BE!

Pluvius Aestivus

of summer rain (homines fabula initium)


II Machinassiah

Of Gods & Slaves

Lilium Cruentus

(Deus Nova)

on the loss of innocence

A Scene in Brown in Yellow:

At first I don't know why your pres-
ence fills me with unease - though
I've missed you more than Life itself,
I freeze. It's like you've been lost and
now you're glad to see my face, but as
you sit down my confusion turns to
distress not knowing how to let you
know that you are... dead...
(I wake up sweating)

They tell me you are better off where
you are now - well, I don't care. They
tell me that your pain is gone where
you are now - well, you left it here!
See, I need to be strong, need to be
brave, I need to put faith in some-
thing. How could I live on not hoping
we will meet... again?

A Scene in White and Grey:

Under the icon's weight the old
thoughts lay. Under the cross so still
and pale, the flowers usher the stale
breath of Death away.
And someone tries to sing but the
bird of song has lost its wings; now it
twitches - rips the stitches of a chest
where tears are torn and where all
loss begins!

Life seems too small when Death
takes its toll - I need something to
blame for this pain.

A Scene in Amber - Flawed:

And have you ever had that dream
where one you love passes away?
And you wake up crying to a world
where she's long since gone, but you
feel the pain, so close, as if she'd died
But I need to be strong, I need to be
brave, I need to put faith in some-
thing. How could I live on not hoping
we will meet again...
...some day?

“Earth to Earth, Dust to Dust” A verse
we know too well, like a nursery
rhyme, just in reverse.
'Cause we are all the little tin man,
with hearts like little tin cans. And as
we line them down with tears over
the years, they inevitably turn... rust.

Life seems too small when Death
takes its toll - I need something to
blame for this pain.
I try, I fail, I fall, like anyone you
know. I break, I bleed, like anyone
you know.

A Scene in Blood on White:

Where the linen's changed just for
tonight, and somehow we beat her
to this sight: this ghostly room of
Exit that she enters by the flicker of
candle light
And in her breast a desert storm is
taking form - an old thirst that can
never be quenched or killed sweeps
over the cold, broken but thousand-
fold: “My Love!”



Oh Lord - Oh Lord
Won't you hear a sinner's prayer
Oh Lord

Oh Lord - Oh Lord
Won't you help me find the way
When I'm lost and led astray
Oh Lord

Oh Lord - Oh Lord
Won't you help me to stay humble
Oh Lord

Oh Lord - Oh Lord
Won't you help me be an ocean
Help me bend to stay unbroken
Oh Lord

Save me, I'm drifting
Oh help me, I'm drifting
Oh Lord...

Dea Pecuniae

I. Mr. Money

Mr. Money:

Hey Miss Mediocrity, gee, I'm sorry.
You've seen me on TV - I'm Mr.
Now you want someone to hold
you, and call when you're in town.
Someone to calm you and confirm
you, well, I'm here! let you
'Cause outside these sexy cars and
far from my trendy bars - behind
these smiles and sunscreen and
'Live the Dream!'s - I am cold and

Daily Finance - that's me in the Ar-
mani. Got three Mercedes 350, two
I Could have bought a Third World
country with the riches that I've
spent. But hey, all modern econom-
ics claim that I deserved every single
And the one time I'm the lesser half
is when we split the tab. So here's
to Friends, Family and Liberty, Gen-
uinity! Here's to Happiness, Suc-
cess, Good Press, No Stress...

But most of all: Here's to Me! Here's
to Me! Here's to Me! There will be
nothing left! So, here's to Me!
(Dea Pecuniae: Oh baby, baby)
Here's to Me!
(Dea Pecuniae: I'll take care of you)
Here's to Me! There will be nothing
left... Nothing left ...for you.

Dea Pecuniae:

If you're looking for fulfillment; a
Kingdom and a Crown; a Paradise
of Free Rides - I am here! let
you down.
I'll get you the sexy cars and a taste
of divinity - a glimpse of the Stars.
Immortality. But then Vanity will
leave you dried and scarred!

(Mr. Money: That's right, oh, give
it to me!)

Here's to Me!
(Mr. Money: Oh baby, baby)
Here's to Me!
(Mr. Money: You'll take care of
Here's to Me! To me...

II. Permanere

Mr. Money:

But then when it's silent, and the
lights from the bars go down...
I need comforting.
'Cause somewhere there deep in-
side, feelings of loss arise...
And I hate to lose!

III: I Raise My Glass

They say it's lonely at the top, then
I'm as lonely as can be. But I am not
too sorry - you see, I've chosen this
company. I got myself a winning
team: it's Me, Myself and I. You bet
it's lonely at the top old friends, and
I'm here today to tell you suckers
Dea Pecuniae - money rules...

They claim that I get paid for my big
Responsibility. But hey, you know...
that is just a lame excuse for my
egocentricity. They say that we're
really the same you and I, and I truly
do agree. You see, just like me, you
live for me, until the day you die

And so I raise my glass to all of you
who really believe that I get paid for
my big responsibility. To all of you
who suck it up and pay my debts.
To all of you who think that my life-
style does not affect the environ-
ment or the poverty. Well, maybe
not more than marginally anyway.
Good for you. And you know what?
Here's to you...

And I raise my glass, to those of you
who give their piece of the cake for
free, for me to throw in the face
of democracy. For those who help
making solidarity ideologically un-
trendy, and charity individualisti-
cally idiotic, unsmart and charac-
teristically bendy. I salute thee you
poor bastards 'cause you all nod
while I sit at your table!

So let's raise our glasses one last
time, to give you all the greatest
recognition and credit of all times
- 'cause after all, let's face it; that's
the only “thank you” you will ever

So come on now - raise your glasses!
Here's to YOU! There will be noth-
ing left - no! Nothing left...
...but money...

III Machinageddon

Nemo Idoneus Aderat Qui Responderet

Vocari Dei

sordes aetas - Mess Age


“I will never submit to all
the things you've said God...”


breaching the core || Exitus - Drifting II


We're breaching the core...

To taste it, to touch it...
Cut my hand!
To crave it, enslave it...
Pluck my eye!

I can never submit to all the things
you've said God - if you want me
dead, I'm right here God. But fear is
a funny thing God, in that it gives
you the strength to resist just about
anything God! And friend turns to
enemy so easily when you defend
your legacy with guilt and talk of

God - you know; you created a
golden cage for your sheep; a stage
too wide and deep for us to even see
the play. But hey, you know what
they say about catching the bird, but
you can't make it sing? You lose the
bird the second it loses its wings, just
like I reckon you will lose your herd
to choirs of “I am, I am, I am” and
mountains and mountains of money
and things!

We're breaching the core...
All breaching!
We're breaching the core...
Still breaching!

Help me I'm starting to fade...
Save me I'm drifting away...

But we can change
We can change...?
I said we can change!

We can change, we can change...
Still breaching!
We can change, we can change...
Still breaching!

I hold it, I'm never letting go!

I settle for rash rather than risk going
too slow...

I sought it, I killed it, but now I know!

I'm left somewhat broken but I won't
let it show...

Hear me now!


Man is shattered - I am shattered!
My shards have become shards of
their own; pieces of pieces, impos-
sible to put back together, spending
their lives seeking a context they
were always a part of. And so, they
leave the context, and we shrink, I
fade - and nothing more can be learnt
or taught. I have no choice but to
leave them to their own devices.

I have come to understand one thing
and one thing alone - one little piece
of understanding, glowing through
this void of blankness and clean slates
like a beacon of hope - or just a re-
minder that I was always wrong:

“Searching for yourself is like looking
for the house you stand in; how could
you possibly find it? It's everywhere.
It's all you know. And there are no
other points of reference!”

Help me I'm starting to fade
Save me, I'm drifting away

Help me, I'm dying now

(Imago: What are these stains? They
stay, stay when it rains...)

Curtains before my final bow

(Imago: ...burning my skin. It's burn-
ing... burning... burning my skin!)

Drifting, just drifting away

(Imago: Burning... Take it away, it's
burning me... Burning my skin!)

Leaving with all that's still left to say

(Imago: Now life... now life... fails our

I failed
I failed
We failed
We failed...

Nihil Morari

(homines fabula finis)

“See me - Hear me - Need me”
Some things will never change.
“Touch me - Heal me”
Mankind remains the same.

Oceans, forests, nations; now every-
thing bears our name. While Earth is
bleeding. Nothing will remain.
Nothing prevails...

We were stuck in this world of
change, expecting it to remain - now
nothing is left unstained!

When there's nothing more that we
can trade, own, steal, or sell...
When there's nothing whole because
we took it apart, and just left, moved
on... When there's nothing left for us
to break, use, abuse or rape...
Then you're free to count how much
you saved!

I can see the ways we fail, I can see
us fall so easily - a structure far too
frail: I can see 40,000 years of know-
ledge and history invested in this child
- spoiled and stained by proud divin-
ity, gaining at best the perspective
and wisdom of not even a fleeting

We have now reached the final
ten thousandth of a second of
our evolutionary year, as we hit
2,000 at a birth rate of 250 peo-
ple a minute!

Tell me: how are we supposed to sur-
vive? If we're acting like fools all drop-
ping dead to stay alive?
Someone tell me, please just show
me - if there's nothing to do, God
we'll turn to you, but if we're an im-
age of you I reckon you are just as
puzzled and ugly too.

You think we have developed fast;
that we're civilized and intelli-
gent? I'll let you in on a secret: we
have developed Things! The rest is
simply knowledge passed on.

(I can see us drain this world, I can
see us buying loss too cheap. Terra
Sterilia washing its broken hand of us
now: creation's blackest sheep!)

Hell, 99% of humanity couldn't
put together a simple light bulb if
you put a gun to their heads! And
the intellect rubs off on fear...

The year

2,010 AD 6,823 Million people
2,020 AD 7,518 Million people
2,030 AD 8,140 Million people
2,040 AD 8,668 Million people
2,050 AD 9,104 Million people

I can see us read the signs, but spell
them out in backward travesty. I see
us close our eyes to all the wounds
that we inflict to this world by being
“free” - we love this world to death,
purchasing our lifestyles with our
lives. Defending our momentarily
nations with the loss of our priceless
earthly home!

It's not hard to reach the top! It's not
hard not knowing when to stop! It's
not hard to take all! Not very diffi-
cult to fly if you settle for a fall!
It's not hard to cross a line!
It's not hard to push and go to far!
Some creatures cannot climb, then
there are us who cannot even learn
how to stay alive...

I'm sorry! For all the things we did
and did not do - forgive us; the fools
that rushed ahead without a clue.
I am sorry! Please forgive us for this
human lack of humanity, this evolu-
tionary travesty - this tragedy called
...called “Man”...

I'm sorry!
For the things we did and didn't do
Forgive us; the fools that rushed
ahead without a single clue
...without a single clue...

IV Machinauticus

Of the Ones With no Hope

Latericius Valete

2,060 AD 1,2 Million people...




I see us in you Nauticus
Came so late but I pray
At the last light of day
There might still be a chance
To save this beast of clay

I see us in you Nauticus
As you're drifting along
Built to last
Young and strong
Will you find us the answers
Before we are gone?

It's getting late
in the day...

Iter Impius

Martigena, son of Mars

(Obitus Diutinus)

Mr. Money

I woke up today expecting to find all
that I sought, and climb the moun-
tains of the life I bought. Finally I'm
at the top of every hierarchy; unfor-
tunately there is no one left...
...but me.

I woke up today to a world that's
ground to dust, dirt and stone. I'm
the king upon this withering throne.
I ruled every forest, every mountain,
every sea - now there're but ruins
left to rule for me. And, you see, it
beckons me;
Life turned its back on us - how could
you just agree? How? I just don't

I woke up today to a world devoid of
forests and trees - drained of every
ocean, every sea. Just like a useless
brick upon the shore the morning af-
ter the storm that swept the bridge
away - relentless tide. No anger, just
this relentless time, that calls us all
on, but...

I'm never crossing that line, leaving
this world behind - I will stay on my
own on this bloodstained throne.
I rule the ruins and wrecks, and the
dust, dirt and stone. I rule rage rod
and rattling of bones.

I am on my own, I am all alone, ev-
erything is gone. Stuck forever here,
already cold.

I'm never crossing that line, leaving
this world behind. I will stay on my
own on this bloodstained throne.
I rule the ruins and wrecks, and the
dirt and the dust and the stone, I'm
the ruler of rage rod and rust and the
rattling of bones.

Ruler of ruin...

Martius/Nauticus II

I. Martius

I'm at the line - I see it all
I am Nauticus now
And so much more
I am all you know

I'm at the line - just at the line
An eternity at the blink of an eye
In this place called time
I'm everything
I am all

II. Nauticus II

I feel every mountain
I hear every tree
I know every ocean
I taste every sea (...)

I see every spring arrive
I see every summer thrive
I see every autumn keep
I see every winter sleep (...)

For I am every forest
I am every tree
I am everything
I am you and me
I am every ocean
I am every sea
I am all the breathing “BE”

V Deus Nova Mobile

...and a God is Born

Animae Partus II

“I am”

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